I need time to slow down

Last week when I was picking up a few groceries. Know what I saw in one of the aisles?

HALLOWEEN CANDY!

What is going on with the world??? I need some time to breathe, and come up with a Halloween costume.

This is a bad Situation.

The new talk of the town is that The Situation (of Jersey Shore fame) is reported to make upwards of $5 million in 2010. This figure includes payment from MTV's trainwreck of a show (up to $60k per episode), party appearances ($15k - $50k), along with endorsements (i.e. workout videos, steroid flavored vodka -I kid I kid, the GTL rap app) and of course a book advance.

I know what you are saying to yourself right now, A BOOK ADVANCE???, and I am with you sista. This reported 6 figure advance will be used for the 29 year old set of abs to write his autobiography. Does someone smell a ghost writer? For the last few hours, this news has taken my breath away and caused me extreme angst. Is the only way for me to become a household name is to become a STD farm? Please say it isn't so.

To help The Situation out, I have comprised a list of ideas for this book.

• A pop up book. We can go through his Ab workout with him and see him do his curl-ups and, well, whatever else one does for a six-pack
• A baby sensory book. You know, one of those books that has textures and fun games for kids, page one could be his abs, page 2 could be a puzzle where you change his tank top to his going on shirts, I've got nothing for page 3.
• A picture book. This is the obvious and easiest of the suggestions. A picture is worth a 1,000 words and maybe a collection of his will be worth that six figure advance?

I hate it when I waste my space on the internet promoting the famously trashy, but sometimes I just can't step away.

Where has the time gone?

I LOST it.

That was my not so funny attempt at a tv pun, but for the last few months I have had an on-again off-again relation with the LOST series. It started back in June when I borrowed season 1 from some friends and would let the dvds run on the weekends while I attempted to clean. If you've watched the series, you won't be surprised to hear that my apartment has been getting more and more cluttered. It is hard to stay even a few minutes out of range of the tv when the episodes play, I mean what if I miss something???

Right now I am about half way through Season 3 and am extremely bummed that hulu no longer has season 6 available. I will have to figure out a new plan when I get to that point in the series. This show keeps me on my toes and I am happy that by starting so late in the game, I don't have to wait a week to see what happens next. The downside, is it is keeping me from reading, or blogging, and I'd like some of my free time back :)

Release the Cougars

There may come a time when I can officially sport the title of a Cougar, but there is at least 15 years between then and now. In the interim, I am just going to interpret the title literally and start dressing like the animal whenever possible.

Dolce & Gabbana has created a winter line to help with this endeavor, it is like they are in my mind! Not only is the fashion house using the print of this big cat, but they are incorporating neon colors. No way in hell a person wearing these pieces can be over looked!






I adore this last picture. The glasses and red lips are to die for! :)

**Photos by www.dolcegabbana.com/

Netflix for Books

Last week I was lunching with a friend and we were talking about how much we love reading, but hate how expensive a good book could be, or worse how expensive a bad one ends up. (see: Eat Pray Love) Wouldn't it be awesome if there was some sort of program out there that provided a service which is like Netflix but for books??


Oh wait, that exists already. It is called the library.



I always forget that the library exists and contains books I would want to read. Part of me dreads entering into one because the books are not out on display like at Border's on tables sitting face up. With the library, I need to know exactly what I want before entering the facility. The library system understands my dilemma and has allowed for me to browse from the comfort of my office desk or living room couch.


At this moment I have put name name down to order 4 different books. Two have over a hundred holds on them (Packing for Mars and One Day), so maybe I will get a chance around Christmas? Either way, I am very hopeful for this and maybe, just maybe, my book buying budget will slowly decrease over the next few months.

Math Nerds Love Pencils

If pencils never smudged they would be my go-to writing utensil for all matters beyond check signing. For one, I find the aesthetic of lead on paper so much more appealing than ink. That grey shine of pencil on college ruled paper is as perfect as pie. (Don't try to tell me there is anything better than pie) My love most likely stems from hours and hours of math problem sets that were worked on throughout my four years of college. Doing math in pen has to be one of the stupidest decision one could make.

The one other downside of the pencil is that it requires sharpening, either with an old school sharpener or clicking the button on the mechanical version. Having to reload, can curb creativity, or cause anger if the mechanical pencil will not grip onto the new piece of lead.

Thankfully, there are others out there that feel my pain and have since created the liquid pencil.

This pen might just cure all my woes. It proves a constant stream of liquid graphite - so no sharping, allows for erasures - which I hope is better than erasable pens, and it becomes permanent after three days!

Thank you Sharpie for coming through with this great product.

Summer Yum

Everyone knows a bbq isn't complete without corn on the cob. This vegetable is the ultimate picnic table accessory, and brings joy to all ages, minus those currently sporting braces. It is crunchy, butter, salty, and sweet all in one bite. Yum!

Per usual, when I get cravings for a food item, such as these ears of corn, I cannot wait to pick one up and munch. Unfortunately, this often means I

attempt to pick up the food item as soon as it hits the table, aka the minute after it came off the grill/out of the pot. This results in an awkward game of hot potato between my hands and my mouth. I loved that at a child my parents would attach little corncob holders to the end so that my delicate fingers did not get subjected to butter burns.

As an adult the practice of using holders is looked down on. I should just woman up and deal. Up until now, I was going along with this. But then I saw these:

Who wouldn't be excited to use a unicorn as a corncob holder?? I was super bummed that they were sold out because lately I have been in a unicorn mood. Most likely this is because I am still totally loving Agnes (from Despicable Me) and all her enthusiasm. I mean, just try to hide your smile after watching this!

Cute Office Supplies

The best part of being an adult who has to work a traditional office job is getting unlimited access to the supply closet. This magical room allows for a person to decorate their desk with neon colored post-it notes, pink stencil notepads, colored felt pens, or so I imagine.

If I have to go back to cubicle living, I better have some fun paper products to play with to keep my notes nice and organized. While watching tv this morning, I saw an ad for the best new innovation in scotch tape.

This darling contraption grips onto the desk and provides the user with small pre-cut strips of tape. Imagine how easy it would be to wrap a Christmas present if I had this little bugger sitting pretty next to you. Yup, my life has come to fantasizing about the latest innovations in tape.

I do(ughnut)

First it was 7 tier cakes, then cupcake towers, and now doughnuts? Whenever my day gets a little slow at work, I will begin to peruse through my favorite wedding blogs. I like to see what is out there and often pass on cute ideas to friends. Recently I came across a couple who thought of using doughnuts as their dessert. I would have never thought to incorporate my favorite sweet morning treat with martial festivities, but who am I to judge?

In fact, this might be another detail to the wedding that my future self will have to plan out. I mean who can say no to a doughnut, especially since dessert always is paired with coffee!

100 Layer Cake

Tater Tot Spokesmen

The people behind Despicable Me are awesome. The movie was hysterical and their partnership with IHOP is brilliant. The minions, who are Gru's helpers and assist him in carrying out his evil plans, are now being used to advertise IHOPs new tater tot platters. These guys are shaped awfully like this tasty potato treats, so basically, a match made in heaven.



After seeing the movie, I went to the movie's website (something I never do) and played the Minion Dominion activity. You can tell the little guys to jump, dance, fight, wave, etc. It is pretty fantastic and if you have some downtime I suggest playing around with this duo.