It was only a matter of time...

Tedi has opted to retire from the NFL. Since the series of mini strokes in 2005, I have been wondering when Bruschi would decide to throw in the towel.

He was my favorite player. I have his jersey. I met him randomly at a PC basketball game. That was one of the best moments of my life.

I want to be Bella

The Twilight Series still has a ton of momentum. The second movie is under way and third will be not far behind. Currently, actual fashion designers have submitted sketches of what they would think Bella's wedding gown would look like.

It is insane.

I wish I could have one of these...particularly this one:

I need to find a way to become a famous female who is in love with an immortal male in the next few years. Shouldn't be too bad? Right?

Are we really surprised?

Time Magazine online posted an article about Abercrombie & Fitch. It explains how the company is failing during this recession: "The upscale teen retailer has suffered 10 straight months of double-digit same-store-sales declines".

Are we really surprised about this?? The article also explains how during this economic crisis, the company has refused to lower prices or offer any type of promotion other than their usual annual sale. What parent this time is going to be willing to let their child purchase a torn, worn looking, poorly constructed, over priced t-shirt?

The article claims that one of the biggest problems is that A & F are aiming toward a preppy look and with the emergence of Gossip Girl, funk has become more popular. I'm sure the tv show is the reason.

Maybe they should at least consider cutting the guy that stands shirtless in their doorway. He serves no purpose other than for people to gawk at. I mean the abs are great, but my interest ends there. I still have no interest entering a retail store that will blow my eardrums out with base.

Awkward.

Glamour published their last magazine with a very small photo of a nude woman who is definitely not your average model...


I guess a lot of women noticed the small picture because letters started to pour into the office exclaiming how refreshing it was to see a regular woman in the magazine. Those letters inspired on of the editors to write this blog post. Like any big time blog there are of course tons of comments. Possibly more comments than I have posts (which equals A TON of comments). Well they are all a handful of woman who end up bickering back and forth about whether this size 12 (plus size model) woman is OBESE or not.

OBESE?????

She has a little tummy pudge. But otherwise she is about as perfect as the next woman. And the pudge is normal and nothing to run away from...for crying out loud people.

These woman end up having a huge argument - via posting - about if she is really as healthy as she claims. I got hook into reading their comments because I would love to see these people in real life, they sound like they belong on Jerry Springer. Particularly I would like to meet the woman and her husband that claim they would loose - yes that is how she wrote it - their lunch after looking at the woman's stomach and thunder thighs. I don't see the thunder either.

The conversation, if you can call it that, was awkward. If I were to be honest with myself, I would have to agree that I do very much like looking at these "perfect" women in the magazines. If the women looked more like me I think I would develop serious image issues. Why? Because I would start wondering why I couldn't be a model. I know why I am not one now. I am not perfect, I have a disproportioned quirky body that I am extremely comfortable in.

Totally not looking to open the what is healthy/what is obese/what is beautiful debate. Merely saying that any time a magazine tries to do something slightly different people blow it up.

5 and 46 are by far my favorite

This was forwarded to me by a friend. It is one of the best lists I have seen, and more original than most that I have read.

1. I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.

2. More often than not, when someone is telling me a story all I can think about is that I can't wait for them to finish so that I can tell my own story that's not only better, but also more directly involves me.

3. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.

4. I don't understand the purpose of the line, "I don't need to drink to have fun." Great, no one does. But why start a fire with flint and sticks when they've invented the lighter?

5. Have you ever been walking down the street and realized that you're going in the complete opposite direction of where you are supposed to be going? But instead of just turning a 180 and walking back in the direction from which you came, you have to first do something like check your watch or phone or make a grand arm gesture and mutter to yourself to ensure that no one in the surrounding area thinks you're crazy by randomly switching directions on the sidewalk.

6. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.

7. The letters T and G are very close to each other on a keyboard. This recently became all too apparent to me and consequently I will never be ending a work email with the phrase "Regards" again.

8. Do you remember when you were a kid playing Nintendo and it wouldn't work? You take the cartridge out, blow in it and that would magically fix the problem. Every kid in America did that, but how did we all know how to fix the problem? There was no internet or message boards or FAQ's. We just figured it out. Today's kids are soft.

9. There is a great need for sarcasm font.

10. Sometimes, I'll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and suddenly realize I had no idea what the f*ck was going on when I first saw it.

11. I think everyone has a movie that they love so much, it actually becomes stressful to watch it with other people. I'll end up wasting 90 minutes shiftily glancing around to confirm that everyone's laughing at the right parts, then making sure I laugh just a little bit harder (and a millisecond earlier) to prove that I'm still the only one who really, really gets it.

12. How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

13. I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.

14. I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.

15. The only time I look forward to a red light is when I'm trying to finish a text.

16. A recent study has shown that playing beer pong contributes to the spread of mono and the flu. Yeah, if you suck at it.

17. Was learning cursive really necessary?

18. Lol has gone from meaning, "laugh out loud" to "I have nothing else to say".

19. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.

20. Answering the same letter three times or more in a row on a Scantron test is absolutely petrifying.

21. Whenever someone says "I'm not book smart, but I'm street smart", all I hear is "I'm not real smart, but I'm imaginary smart".

22. How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear what they said?

23. Every time I have to spell a word over the phone using 'as in' examples, I will undoubtedly draw a blank and sound like a complete idiot. Today I had to spell my boss's last name to an attorney and said "Yes that's G as in...(10 second lapse)...ummm...Goonies"

24. What would happen if I hired two private investigators to follow each other?

25. While driving yesterday I saw a banana peel in the road and instinctively swerved to avoid it...thanks Mario Kart.

26. MapQuest really needs to start their directions on #5. Pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.

27. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.

28. I find it hard to believe there are actually people who get in the shower first and THEN turn on the water.

29. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.

30. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.

31. Bad decisions make good stories

32. Whenever I'm Facebook stalking someone and I find out that their profile is public I feel like a kid on Christmas morning who just got the Red Ryder BB gun that I always wanted. 546 pictures? Don't mind if I do!

33. Is it just me or do high school girls get sluttier & sluttier every year?

34. If Carmen San Diego and Waldo ever got together, their offspring would probably just be completely invisible.

35. Why is it that during an ice-breaker, when the whole room has to go around and say their name and where they are from, I get so incredibly nervous? Like I know my name, I know where I'm from, this shouldn't be a problem....

36. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you've made up your mind that you just aren't doing anything productive for the rest of the day.

37. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after DVDs? I don't want to have to restart my collection.

38. There's no worse feeling than that millisecond you're sure you are going to fall after leaning your chair back a little too far.

39. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten page research paper that I swear I did not make any changes to.

40. I hate being the one with the remote in a room full of people watching TV. There's so much pressure. 'I love this show, but will they judge me if I keep it on? I bet everyone is wishing we weren't watching this. It's only a matter of time before they all get up and leave the room. Will we still be friends after this?'

41. I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello? Damnit!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voicemail. What'd you do after I didn't answer? Drop the phone and run away?

42. I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.

43. When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.

44. I like all of the music in my iTunes, except when it's on shuffle, then I like about one in every fifteen songs in my iTunes.

45. Why is a school zone 20 mph? That seems like the optimal cruising speed for pedophiles...

46. As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.

47. Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.

48. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.

49. I think that if, years down the road when I'm trying to have a kid, I find out that I'm sterile, most of my disappointment will stem from the fact that I was not aware of my condition in college.

50. Even if I knew your social security number, I wouldn't know what do to with it.

51. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I'd bet my ass everyone can find and push the Snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time every time...

52. It really pisses me off when I want to read a story on CNN.com and the link takes me to a video instead of text.

53. I wonder if cops ever get pissed off at the fact that everyone they drive behind obeys the speed limit.

54. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lites than with Kay.

55. The other night I ordered takeout, and when I looked in the bag, saw they had included four sets of plastic silverware. In other words, someone at the restaurant packed my order, took a second to think about it, and then estimate d that there must be at least four people eating to require such a large amount of food. Too bad I was eating by myself. There's nothing like being made to feel like a fat bastard before dinner.

It is like I have a Home Gym now.

Going to the gym has been something that I have have been avoiding since I started to play kickball. Because clearly, kickball for 45 minutes, once a week, for a season is a major workout - I guess one could argue that if you include my walk to the field it almost is...

But back to the point, lately I have considered the fact that my metabolism will soon start to call it quits on me, and I should get in the practice of sweating to the oldies and what not. With my life changing decision to live on my own, I got caught up in the notion to also start going to the gym, eat more healthy, get a cat, etc. Very New Year's Eve of me! At this point, I have not followed through on any of those plans. But I have good reason for not signing up for the gym.


What is the reason, you ask?

I get a workout every time I go home.

(Side Note: Don't worry, I have no intention to ever look like her--->)

I have to climb up one steep hill to get to my street every day when I return from work or errands. Then I have to climb to the second floor, which doesn't sound like much, but I have to climb to the entrance way too! Additionally, when I do laundry that is a whole other set of stairs. Laundry is in the basement level and it is not easy to maneuver down the twisting spiral back steps with heaps of dirty clothing. Granted I should probably do my laundry a little more often, but then I would have less to carry but that also results with more trips up and down the stairs. Oh life...

In addition to laundry, I have been a moving machine attempting to get my place in shape. Carrying all sorts of furniture upstairs and assembling bookcase after bookcase. I really need to consider downsizing my library.... But all of this has caused so many bruises to pop up on my arms, legs and torso!

But yeah, the last time I was this consistently sore and tired I was rowing crew for HC. Chew on that for bit.

I am fairly certain I will have a fine set of legs and butt to match with all of this climbing that is in my future. Glad I get to save that monthly gym membership money - I need it, FOR RENT!

Article of Clothing I have no use for anymore

The Bathrobe:

I have had robes in my closet since I started living in dorms at college. It is the easiest way to stay covered up going up those long hallways to the bathroom.

I used them again living in Boston with roommates. Even with the bathroom next door, didn't want to give the girls, or our guests, a show, so the robe was still a necessity .

Now it is just me and the Basil plant. And well, thanks to lack of watering while I was away and my apartment sitter had someone to get a temporary sitter while she was out of town, it is now just me. ;) It is ok, plants are kind of boring. But back to the robe, well I don't have a need for it. Perhaps some point I will need it if I have visitors, but let's be realistic, my couch really isn't big enough for someone to sleep on, so if I have a night visitor, they will be in my bed. Yep, I just went there.

Only in RI can you get something this unhealthy

KFC has created the best sandwich known to man. It can be bought only in RI and Nebraska. Instead of bread there are pieces of fried chicken. The "meat" of the sandwich consists of bacon, cheese and special sauce.

Delish.



This sandwich has to be up there with the New York System Wieners. Just as tasty

Snuggie has done it again

There is now a Snuggie for Dogs. This product is advertised to replace doggie sweaters because dogs hate having their heads pushed through the head holes and their arms twisted through the sleeves.

Just a thought, but maybe that means that you shouldn't attempt to dress dogs like people. Just a thought...

The snuggie for dogs comes in large, medium, small and extra small. I wish they had put teacup as the smallest size, that would have at least been more consistant with dogs. The Snuggie people let you know that dogs LOVE to wear them both outside and inside - particularly while napping on the couch with their owner who is in a matching outfit.

Fairly certain my two dogs would go insane if we ever tried to put something like this on them. But then again, my dogs were neurotic.

MELTING - MEEEELLLLTTTTTIIIINNNNGGGG

Back from Alaska. It was AWESOME. Pictures will be up shortly for you to view - I am on stolen wireless still and so I don't think it the signal is strong enough for some serious photo uploads.

The Comcast man did come today, though!! Not only did he show up between 2 and 5 like I was promised, but he came at exactly 2 pm!! That never happens. So I have Cable up and running, the internet I will be installing myself. Eeeep! This should be interesting - I just wanted to save the $40 bucks, we are in a recession you know...

But basically, I wanted to complain for a moment that I went from Alaskan weather of 60 degree weather (with one day that was still only 40 by noon) to Massachusetts heat in the 90s! I don't think I have stopped sweating since I stepped off the plane. Sigh. I honestly feel like I am melting. I knew something like this was going to happen when we were all looking for summer to show up. She did, and she brought some major heat.

A few other points of interest:

• United lost all of my family's luggage so we are 0-4 on the checked bags. They still have not yet located the bags, let alone started the process of sending them back to us. AWESOME. Fortunately, I have a LOT of underwear, so I should be able to survive for the next week or so.
• I bought some book shelves for the apartment, this should help with the unpacking a ton as I will now have a place to put books, dvds and games. Sweet
• I found a super cute couch at the Jordan's Clearance Wearhouse, sadly, I don't have a truck so I couldn't get that. Still couchless. Please let me know if you have a truck/van or know someone that would be willing to come with me to get some furniture! :) I would totally appreciate it. For now I am still on the look out for that ever so important piece of furniture.

Hey from AK

Today is the last full day before I head onto the cruise for my two weeks in Alaska. The trip has been phenomenal! I have learned more fun facts that I can remember. As you know, Alaska is the largest state. It is also the state that is the furthest North, West, AND East. How you may ask? Well, two of the islands cross the latitude line whose name I can't remember that separates East and West. Pretty awesome.

Some more facts about Alaska itself:

It is the same size as 69 Massachusetts and 471 Rhode Islands. You would need 2.3 Texases. This leads me to the big nudge that Alaskans like to give Texans: "You know we could cut Alaska in half and then Texas would be the third largest state". Oh you know you smile too when you read this.

The northern most part of Alaska has 3 straight months of sun and 3 straight months of darkness. Therefore, you need to be careful who you sleep with in the winter time, as a one-night stand can equal a 3 month commitment!

Because there is so much sun light in Alaska, women of the night could not use red lights to signal if they were available or not. So being the resourceful women that they were, they would put pots of red geraniums on their porches and remove them when they had a guest. So no self-respecting native Alaskan woman will have those flowers in their gardens.

That is all for now. I am on borrowed internet so I can't write for much longer. Maybe I can get another post when I am out to sea!

Ooops

So I learned that the story about Mars is a prank.

SAD

Sorry for spreading false rumors.

See you in two weeks folks!

SO COOL!!!!

Below is an excerpt from an email that I saw today about Mars. I am more than just a little excited about the prospect of seeing the Red Planet with just my eye. Go science!!! The best part is you have all month to remember to look up. Unlike the once in a lifetime comet sightings...

In real life, the Red Planet is going to be the closest to earth in recorded history. Earth is catching up with Mars in a close encounter.

Due to the way Jupiter's gravity tugs on Mars and perturbs its orbit, astronomers can only be certain that Mars has not come this close to Earth in the last 5,000 years, but it may be as long at 60,000 years before it happens again.

The encounter will culminate on Aug. 27, when Mars comes to within 34,649,589 miles of the Earth and will be (next to the moon) the brightest object in the night sky. It will attain a magnitude of -2.9 and will appear 25.11 arch seconds wide, at a modest 75-power magnification.

Mars will look as bright as the full moon to the naked eye and will be easy to spot. At the beginning of August it will rise in the east at 10 p.m. and reach it's azimuth at about 3 a.m. By the end of August when the two planets are closest, Mars will rise at nightfall and reach its highest point in the sky at 12:30 a.m.

Best Glutes Since Living on the Hill

For four years, I, and about 2800 students, worked daily on having some of the best glutes and calves in the nation. Living on one of the seven hills of Worcester provided a workout plan each every day as one walked from dorms to the math department to the dining hall and back. One time I counted the number of stairs that I climbed in a MORNING and it was well over 500. That is right, 500 stairs in just a few hours.

In those four years, I was toned. And I didn't really have to do much beyond going to class. Jealous? I am, those were the days...

Since graduation, I have been living in Boston and keeping to the flat lands (and streets). Walking to work each day has provided some good light exercise. Well, my new place is on the top of a hill. That light exercise has quickly become good old fashion workout each afternoon. Walking to the T and to work is easy. It is downhill. Walking back...well that involves climbing back up. I can feel the burn each and every day now. I'm guessing it will take about a month before I have the perfect butt. :) Wish me luck!

KICKBALL with heart

If ever a game needed a play by play it was tonight...here is mine:

The place was field one. The day was Monday. The time was 8:31 pm. The pink team had a choice; call the forfeit because the maroons were short a girl and past the 15 minute mark or give them 3 minutes for their two girls to run from the T. Pinks decided that they were in it to win it, and allowed for the game to go on even though we only had 10 people ourselves. We knew it was going to be hard, especially since we were the lower seed and so onto the field we went.

The maroons had 13 people (with 5 girls) and never allowed for more than four females on the field at any given time. In fact, they were told every inning to get the fourth out there. With the game delay the pink team forgot to start the game with a cheer and allowed 3 runs in the first inning. To get back the focus, the pink team regrouped and went with the rolling "goooooo pink". And well, that was the game.

The next inning one of our players lost his pants, and the pink still couldn't get a run, but neither did the other team. The third inning, still down by three, the pink started with a walk by yours truley (strutting all the way in spandex shorts thank you very much). This may or may not have annoyed a certain maroon captain. Our tall outfielder got up to the plate and kicked a solid single; so man on first and girl on second. Our pitcher went up to the plate, kicked a few fowl balls and then KICKED THE LIVING SHIT out of the ball. Our outfielder had to basically start walking behind me so that I could score before him, with the pitcher not too far behind us and then it was 3-3 BITCHES!!!!

Nothing happened in the fourth. (except where I may have pissed off enough of the maroon team calling them assholes, shushing their captain when she tried to dispute a call, and generally getting in their way as much as possible while playing catcher - may have blown in some guy's neck because he chose to stand as close to me as possible...). The pressure was on to wrap this game up within five innings. The refs (blue team) were being super fair but told us to get our A-Game on as turns out the maroon team totally cheated against them in the cambridge league and they did not want to see them get to the next level. The ref's had their team slowly show up along with some cheerleaders and all of them were on side. With that kind of fan support, we were able to bring the score to 6-3!!!! The maroon being the higher seed had last at bats and well, they never got past second. CUZ WE WON!!!!!!

Apparently most people don't like this team. We have had some haters on us because of our flair and general ridiculousness. But these people were just freaking intense. They ASSIGNED positions. I know. Insane. Think good things for us on Wednesday!!! We have a title to defend!!!!

Getting Settled

Shaquille O'Neal and Ben Stein just answered the Comcast phone line. Honestly thought that I stumbled upon Shaq's home phone number on accidenct or something. Completely threw me for a loop until I heard Ben Stein's voice and remember their weird commercials.

Waited on hold for about 10 minutes. Not too bad considering. I mean I used to work at a call center back in the day and with about 50 plus of us answering the phone the wait would still get to about 40 minutes, if not more. Which reminds me, complaining that you were on hold for the first two minutes of a call only furthers the wait time for others. Please just think about that.

Anyway, I just spoke with nicest Comcast representative. She totally got me this amazing 2 year contract offer - which can be moved if I end up having to move (I hope that I don't as moving is such a pain!). But basically I am getting every channel I could possibly want, plus HBO, plus a free DVR subscription and internet. W00t!!! The only downside is that I couldn't get an appointment for before I leave for my two week trip. So I guess no Shark Week for me this year. As a friend of my said toi ne when I told him this exact news "haha it's a cruel harsh world we live in".

Amen.